Animal Story: "Badgered"

Topic: Animals

You asked us to "...write a story prominently featuring an animal." Here is my attempt to do so.

“Badgered”

“Okay guys. It's question time,” Lt. Alan Brown told the small group of Iraqi reporters in the makeshift press area outside of the British Army headquarters in Az Zubayr.

The group of three reporters sitting in the green folding chairs in front of the music stand he used as a podium was the same group of reporters he had dealt with everyday for the last three months. They used to ask questions about the reconstruction funds or British withdrawal dates and the binder he brought with him to these sessions had the answers to those sorts of questions. But lately, their questions always focused on a new topic and it was a topic Lt. Brown didn’t care to get into again. But he didn’t think these reporters would cooperate with the preferences of a British spokesman.

“Mr. Alan sir, could you please address the rumors that are swirling ferociously and vigorously throughout Az Zubayr about your man-eating badger beasts,” the Iraqi reporter in a faded black suit and white sneakers asked in lightly accented English as he stood up from his folding chair.

“So we’re going to go down that road again are we, Mr. Al-Bayati? I thought we covered this last week,” Lt. Brown responded. For some reason, Abbas Al-Bayati always referred to him as Mr. Alan instead of Mr. Brown or Lt. Brown. No one knew why he did so, but it had become quite the joke around the office.

“Mr. Alan, sir. This is a most furiously pressing issue for the free peoples of the Republic of Iraq. The people demand an answer from the Coalition Authority about this vigorous threat to our people’s safety.”

“Okay, Mr. Al-Bayati, we will play this little game again. There are no verified reports of any witnesses seeing giant badgers roaming around anywhere inside the city of Az Zu….”

“But outside of the city?” Mr. Al-Bayati cut off Lt. Brown. Lt. Brown sighed.

“There are no verified reports of any witnesses seeing giant badgers roaming around outside of Az Zubayr either.”

“Yes Mr. Alan, sir, but the vigorous man-eating badger beasts appeared only after the occupation of Southern Iraq by the British army. Before you arrive, there are no reports of man-eating badger beasts, but after you arrive, there are many reports of man-eating badger beasts. People say that the beasts have attacked many livestock animals and many small children and people are very afraid to come out in the moonlight to face the man-eaters.”

“What exactly are you implying, Mr. Al-Bayati?”

“Mr. Alan, sir, I am asking if you have a comment about the many peoples that believe that the British Army released the ferocious man-eating badger beasts after coming to Iraq.”

“I just want to be clear here on what you are saying Mr. Al-Bayati. You think that her Majesty’s royal army released a pack of gigantic man-eating badgers to attack the civilian population of the Basra Province after that same army completely decimated Saddam Hussein’s real army in a normal war and if that same army chose to, it could easily kill every man, woman, and goat in city of Az Zubayr and the rest of the Basra Province.” He watched as they scribbled that quote down and he knew he was going to pay for that comment later when that quote reached the higher-ups.

“Some peoples, including myself, believe that, yes, Mr. Alan.”

“Mr. Al-Bayati, I can unequivocally state that Her Majesty’s government has not released gigantic, man-eating badgers into Az Zubayr or any other place on Earth or Iraq. We also haven’t released serpent eggs into the Euphrates or kidnapped cows to feed the udders to the six-armed, elephant-headed aliens that haunt all of our waking dreams,” Lt. Brown said.

“So that is a complete denial then about the man-eating badger beasts?”

“Yes, that is a complete denial,” Lt. Brown said as he stared down the reporter. He sighed and looked out at the other reporters. “Does any one here have a question about anything other than the badgers?”

After about ten seconds of silence, Lt. Brown closed his binder and walked away from the crowd. He continued walking even as the reporters screamed questions about the man-eating badger beasts. Lt. Brown walked until the voices of the reporters were a distant sound and he continued to walk for twenty or thirty minutes until he reached a somewhat desolate part of town.

Before the introduction of the Americans’ newest idea, the buildings in this part of town could be very dangerous place because of the insurgent activity. Well, maybe it was Saddam's idea and Americans stole it, but either way, the area now felt almost completely empty.

Lt. Brown walked up to one of the alleys between the abandoned low-rise buildings, drew his sidearm, and began to whistle the tune of the song, "Hitler Has Only Got One Ball." He continued to whistle for several minutes while peering into the alley.

Lt. Brown then heard a sound behind him and he turned to see what it was. As soon as he turned, he saw three large badgers walking towards him in a near unison of step. They were each about the size of small child with fur covered in grime, sand, and faded stains of red on their paws and mouth. Lt. Brown kept his handgun drawn as the badgers came close enough for them to jump at him, but stayed far enough away to be out of his arm’s reach.

“Now guys, I thought we already talked about this problem you have with kids and cows,” Lt. Brown said aloud as he used his free hand to sign the words in American Sign Language.

El Chupa

The room was dark and filled with a mildew odor. The florescent lighting down the lanes flickered on and off and gave the feeling of emptiness beyond its length.

BANG.

The last round roared out of his custom revolver and he jammed a thumb down on the call button for more silhouette targets. A small red light strobed above his booth.

click clack dink plink plink clack dink chink dink

9 shells fell from the revolver to the tile floor amongst the countless others shells of various caliber and cigarette butts. If this range wasn't the cheapest and least discerning about what gun you used, he would never come to this hole. The place looked as if it had never once been cleaned.

A Stocky figure staggered in front of booth carrying a tray full of thin plastic sheets with familiar silhouettes printed on them. "How many more?" Grift said in his familiar deep intonation.

"10 more." Antonio said as he pulled the gleaming shells from a fresh box loading his piece again.

Grift set the sheets down on the ledge and picked up one of the unspent rounds. "I've never seen anybody use silver bullets, well at least not at this range. I've seen every manner of round used in this alley from explosives to tracers, but you my boy are the first to use silver." Grift eyed the bullet carefully before placing it back in the box. "It must be one hell of an interesting story behind why!" He said as he walked back to his office.

Antonio loaded the sheets into the dispenser each one popping up at various heights and ranges down the lane. And with a cool exhale took aim...

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The sun was already blazing away at its punishing zenith, and the earth below him seemed to intensify the heat, damn deserts always got so fucking hot around this time of day. Beads of sweat pierced his brow as he lay in wait. There was no cover, nothing to use to hide behind or on top of just open plains full of unforgiving forsaken land. Antonio had made a small camp a half click back but was in his position. About 5 min from now the convoy would pass directly in front of him and all his suffering would pay off. Well it would pay off when he got the money for the shot, but one thing at a time.

Antonio was employing an old trick, something used for hundreds if not thousands of years. He lay in a shallow hole with a large cloth draped over him with sand piled over the top. The only part barely extending out of his den was the barrel of his rifle. After taking the shot he would simply pull the gun next to his body and wait. It was so effective a practice it still hadn't gone out of style even with all the magic and technology that existed. The real problem was of course if the convoy decided to go looking for him he could simply be crushed under the weight in his makeshift grave.

A distant hum snapped Antonio's attention away from his revere, he focused back in on the first sign post barely visible through the heat waves and saw a large black form slowly take shape just behind the yellow triangle. When the shadow covered the yellow sign he began counting and quickly panned to the next sign.

"uno dos tres cuatro"

The second sign disappeared into the shadow, he panned to the last sign and asked his rifles AI "What do you think VIRA, 15' North?"
A soft feminine voice with a Spanish accent whispered in his augmented ear "Oh mi amor, I knew the heat would get to you, its only 13' North. Ill set it for you baby."
The windage dial slowly turned back a few notches and his sight shifted to the left ever so slightly.

He peered down the barrel across a desolate landscape, the first transport flashed past, then the second. He exhaled smoothly tightening his grasp....

BANG!

He didn't have to see the window shatter or hear the screech of the breaks before he was fully concealed. He simply lay his head on the sand "Thanks VIRA, your the best."
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It had taken several hours for the convoy to finally call off the search, more then once Antonio heard vehicles pass by too close for comfort and even thought he had heard people walk past him several times. He stalked back to camp and dug up some of his supplies, he didn't dare make a fire in the early evening, he instead started to drink water and eat supplement bars.

Suddenly a rustling noise not far away sent a shock down his spine. He grabbed his rifle and with a careful gait strode forward. Just before reached the edge of the small ridge a shadow flashed past him at blinding speed and he winced in pain as his right arm was pulled up and out. Reeling from the attack he spun as he fell and grasped his bicep. The wound wasn't terribly deep but his hand was already covered in blood. He got to his knees and spun about looking for his target but all he could see was empty desert and darkness beyond.

He scooted down past the small ridge and placed his back against the warm rock. He sighted in on a sand dune a hundred feet away and all the sudden the figure popped up and ran for another position he took aim and let loose a pair of shots.

Bang. Bang.

The first clearly missed from the spray of sand, the second seemed to hit but whatever it was didn't even seem to loose pace. His target dove behind a second small sand dune, Antonio had never seen anything move so fast. He crouched and slowly moved along the stone to see if he could get a better shot. Again the beast appeared, this time charging directly for him. Antonio saw two dark red eyes wide with anger staring at him as it ran, yet it seemed to vanish briefly and reappear just as suddenly as it did.

Determined not to let it get to him he pulled the rifle close and fanned the trigger as fast as he could. A few rounds seemed to hit the black shadow and he saw tufts of fur explode off in every direction when it disappeared once. The last round landed dead center but it was upon him already clawing and ripping at his forearms and legs.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!

Antonio let loose a scream of pain as it bit down on the meat of left thigh, he reeled quickly and dropped the rifle to his side trying to pry the creatures jaws from his flesh. It seemed a lifetime later he finally loosened the jaws of the four legged beast and jumped back. The shadow in front of him crouched low like a tiger waiting to pounce upon its prey a long mangy tail arcing high above its body.

He snatched his rifle up and took a step back pulling the trigger he heard only a soft click no thunderous clap of a round being fired or the familiar jolt in his shoulder. He didn't need VIRA to tell him he was out of rounds. The shadow sprang forward and this time only succeeded to knock Antonio down. Although it was only as big as a medium sized dog the power and ferocity it displayed was terrifying. It stood on top of his chest snapping with fangs at his face, Antonio was holding it back with the rifle. Suddenly his adrenaline kicked in and he rolled the beast onto its back he stood over it and clubbed it over and over with the stock of his rifle. He heard it yelp again and again as he pummeled it with blows only relenting when he slipped backwards from the pool of blood that had collected at his feet.

Dazed from his fall and woozy from the blood he lost he looked back to see his defeated prey, yet it wasn't there. The ground seemed to spin as he swiveled his head looking for his adversary suddenly he saw it laying with an outstretch paw toward a hole in the ridge where he was crouching. Antonio shambled towards the body ready to bludgeon it again with the little strength he had left but saw those red eyes where staring off distantly.

Antonio slumped down attempting to collect himself and figure out what had happened, as he sat there for several long moments he became aware of more red eyes leering at him from the hole. The eyes watched him intently for what seemed an eternity and slowly two small black forms crept from the hole to the pelt sprawled out before them. They were no larger then rabbits, but were miniature versions of the larger beast. They had large deep red eyes and powerful looking bodies with a nearly black fur coating their bodies, the underside of the chests and lower legs seemed to have some scaling on them ending in treacherously sharp claws. The two pups huddled near their mother nosing at her lifeless body and whimpering.

When he left camp later that night to get some real medical aid for his wounds and inform his contact the job was complete, he heard the two pups hellish howls. Their lament upon the wind ringing in his ears, the blood curtling howl of El Chupacabra.

Assignment 2 - Animals

Was talking with Pete, and it turns out that we're due for another assignment! So I shall be your guide and host and servant and many many other things for this one.

It's simple: write a story prominently featuring an animal. It could be a pet, an escaped animal, a speaking animal; all the characters could be animals, or just some. No quests to find one, though, that's cheating.

Because here's the thing about animals, and something I'd like you all to think about: animals think fundamentally differently than we do. They act fundamentally differently than we do. Obviously there are similarities between humans and animals (and if you want to get technical we're beasts ourselves), but I'm interested in what you all have to say about the differences. Or maybe nothing at all; maybe its just our interaction with animals that is in and of itself interesting.

Addendum: if you write some Marley and Me "I love my dog" dreck I will personally hunt you down and kill you myself. :)